Individual approach to conflict negotiation or mediation is affected by the extent to which an individual balances interest-driven concerns (goal attainment), and relationship-driven concerns (developing and maintaining positive, working relationships).

To be an effective conflict negotiator or mediator, you must first understand your personal style or approach to conflict negotiation or the parties to conflict mediation and then adapt and adjust that style in response to the circumstances under which you must negotiate or mediate.

Although terminology may vary, most experts on conflict management agree that the attitudes to conflict management can generally be described as falling into one of the following five attitudes:

i. Collaborative

ii. Competitive

iii. Compromising

iv. Accommodating

v. Avoiding

There is no one “right” attitude to managing conflicts; each attitude is helpful in certain situations and can have negative consequences when overused, or when used inappropriately.

i. COLLABORATIVE (Interest- and relationship-driven)

§ Highly motivated to find a mutually valid solution

§ Possess high self-esteem, which exhibits itself in significant concern for self and others.

§ Goal is not winning but mutual satisfaction.

§ Seeks a solution that meets the needs of all sides.

§ Investments of time and energy in digging deep into an issue to identify the underlying concerns and interests of the parties and finding solutions that truly satisfy these concerns.

Appropriate when

- There is a need to maintain satisfactory working relationships with your counterparts, which will be worthwhile in the long term.

- The concerns of both sides are too important to be compromised,

Caution: Not all problems and conflicts require such optimal solutions. Be careful not to overuse collaboration on less substantive matters, particularly just to minimize risk or avoid responsibility. In addition, your collaborative efforts should elicit similar, collaborative responses from your opposition; if they don’t, this may be a signal that you need to rethink the relationship issues and develop another negotiation approach and strategy.

ii. COMPETITIVE(Interest-Driven)

§ The objective is to win regardless of the cost.

§ High concern for self and low concern for others,

§ Not interested in a win/ win settlement, prefers a lose/win situation to a win/win situation outcome.

§ High degree of self-assertiveness

§ Reluctant to cooperate.

§ Power-oriented - uses whatever power and influence is available to protect and promote interests.

Appropriate when:

- Quick, decisive action is vital, e.g. emergencies;

- Unpopular courses of action are needed, e.g., cost-cutting, enforcing stringent regulations; and

- Initial, more collaborative approaches have shown that your opponents are likely to take advantage of noncompetitive behavior.

Caution- An overuse of the competitive approach, however, may result in lost alliances and partnerships, reluctance on the part of your subordinates to provide needed information or data (i.e., because it challenges your position), and a competitive climate where more time may be spent on fighting for influence and power than on productive problem-solving.

iii. Compromising (Interest- and relationship-driven)

§ Less interest and relationship driven than collaboration

§ “I will if you will” involves concern for self and concern for others.

§ Has sufficient assertiveness and a good level of sensitivity towards the other’s needs.

§ The aim in the conflict resolution is for both parties to make equal concession so there is neither a winner nor a loser.

§ Eager to close the deal by doing what is fair and equal for all parties involved in the negotiation.

§ This approach requires that you deal directly with the conflict and underlying interests at hand, but doesn’t require that you explore these interests in as much depth as the collaborative approach.

Appropriate when:

- You and your opponents have equal power and are strongly committed to mutually exclusive objectives.

- Temporary settlements to complex issues also may involve compromise, particularly when there is significant time pressure. leaves the way open for more collaborative negotiations in the future.

Caution: Often unnecessarily rush the negotiation process and make concessions too quickly. Tendsto findtemporary mutually acceptable solutions or settlement that partially satisfy your interests and those of your opponents though not necessarily straining your working relationship.

iv. ACCOMMODATING(Relationship-driven)

§ Places emphasis on the concerns and interests of the opposition rather than your own.

§ Peace at any cost is the goal of an accommodator.

§ Highly motivated toward peace

§ Sacrifice their own needs to satisfy the other person.

§ This style is the opposite of the competitive style.

§ Enjoy solving the other party’s problems and preserving personal relationships.

§ Willingness to forgo your own agenda in favor of moving forward and resolving the conflict.

Appropriate when:

- The issue at hand is very important to your opponents and the outcome has no particular negative consequences for you or your interests. Under such circumstances, accommodation can be used as a goodwill gesture to help maintain a cooperative relationship with the opposition and build up social credits for future issues that may be more important to you.

Caution: Overuse of accommodation, i.e., continual deference to the concerns of your opponents, may deprive you of the recognition and respect you need to influence future negotiations and outcomes with your opponents. Preserving harmony and avoiding disruption through accommodation must be balanced against maintaining your leadership and credibility and achieving your objectives.

v. AVOIDANCE (Neither interest nor relationship driven)

§ Avoids conflict altogether,

§ Address neither your interests nor the competing interests of the opposition.

§ Avert their own desires/needs

§ Have little concern for others desires and needs.

§ Put the matter aside and waiting for things to improve

§ When conflict surfaces, they withdraw and refrain from saying anything.

§ Do not like to negotiate and don’t do it unless warranted.

Although not generally viewed as a useful strategy or a long-term solution, avoidance is appropriate under the following circumstances:

ü An issue is trivial and doesn’t merit your time

ü The potential damage of confronting the conflict far outweighs any possible benefits

ü You have little or no power and perceive no chance of satisfying your interests.

POSTPONEMENT: Postponement is a variation of avoidance, is a useful strategy when you need time to regroup and assess a situation, gather more information or resources, or recruit allies who have the power and influence required to address and negotiate the conflict more effectively.

Both the competitive and accommodating attitude are destructive attitude, the former seeks to destroy others to satisfy an insatiable emotional urge while the latter sacrifices his or her happiness for peace to reign. To this type peace first and others will follow. Studies have shown that a combination of collaboration, compromise, and accommodation seems to facilitate the best overall, long lasting results. However, a compromiser who is usually open to negotiation may adopt a highly competitive stance on an issue that is extremely important to him.

ADOPT A STYLE THAT IS APPROPRIATE TO THE CURRENT SITUATION AND YOUR GOALS.

One key to successful conflict management is the ability to realize when your own natural management style is, and is not, appropriate.

- If you know that you tend to compete for space and dominate conversations, especially when you are trying to win a point, you need to improve on your conflict management skills by developing constructive communication and active listening skills.

- If, on the other hand, you find it difficult to state your point clearly and with sufficient conviction, or you tend to avoid conflict at any cost, work on improving your ability to clearly state your interests and communicate your needs to the opposition.

No single approach or style for conflict management will prove successful under all circumstances. Through careful assessment and preparation, however, you will be able to adjust your approach and avoid the negative emotional reactions that often derail communication and almost always escalate the level of conflict.

By Akintunde Esan, Legal Practitioner and Chartered Mediator, Managing Partner at Ase Olodumare Chambers, a Lagos based dispute resolution law firm